


mirror on the wall

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 22:44:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7593088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt reflects on himself as he prepares to leave.</p><p>(Trans Man Matt Holt. Trans Girl Pidge Holt.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	mirror on the wall

It was thrilling and terrifying all at once. He was going into space with his father, with Shiro - a man he knew well and trusted deeply - and he would be gone for quite a long time.

Matt stared at himself in the mirror, and couldn’t look away.

His boxers clung to a pair of skinny legs. He had muscle, but not like Shiro - thin, lithe muscle that he had worked _hard_ to keep on him. His chest looked… normal. Flat. Ordinary, but for a pair of scars that stretched underneath on each side. 

He hadn’t permanently stayed on testosterone. Enough to get him growing, to get him to rise about what he would have otherwise, and that was plenty. In space, you can’t go to the surgeon and get a new implant. In space, there’s no room for boxes of patches or gels, or a doctor to visit to get regular shots.

That was okay. He didn’t really want it, anyway. Sure, sometimes he wished he could grow hair more easily. Light brown hair dusted his legs, his arms, his pits, but none refused to grow on his face. He couldn’t ever grow a beard.

(Privately, Matt was positive he would look awful with a beard, but he still wanted to grow one. It was the principle of the matter, more than anything else.)

With precision, he pulled his uniform on. Pants first, then his top, his socks, his shoes. Standing in front of the mirror fully-dressed, adjusting his glasses, Matt felt like a different man. He was smartly dressed. He looked like someone who was prepared for this mission, who knew what he was going to do next.

Once upon a time, he had worn a smaller version of this uniform. He remembers how it was, at first. How some instructors, some classmates reacted. But with the weight of his father behind him, of Sam Holt, he was untouchable. He could present as he wished, could be who he wanted, and now?

Now, no one remembered. When she got older, Dad would do it for Katie, too.

Speak of the devil… Rapid knocks sounded on his door. “Matt? Are you done changing?”

Thankfully, the people in their house actually waited for an answer before marching in. “Yeah, come in!” he called, and his little sister bounded in.

His breath caught in his throat. Her long hair was carefully combed back, a purple headband he hadn’t seen before holding it in place, but the dress… He remembered that dress.

Once upon a time, that was his dress, and now it hung on his younger sister. “Do you like it?” she asked quietly, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it. “Mom dug it out of the attic, said it was yours. Is this okay?”

For as much pain as it caused her, sometimes, Matt was glad that he and his sister were one and the same. They got it. Got each other, and he motioned her over to stand next to him. She did, and he wrapped an arm around her, looking at the pair of them in the mirror.

One brother, one sister. Exactly how they wanted to be. “Yeah,” he said. “It looks good on you, Katie.” After a moment more of looking quietly into the mirror, her head falling against his shoulder, he turned to her. “You should go through my stuff when I’m gone. You can have whatever clothes you want.” Any clothes he wore now wouldn’t fit her, so that was an easy promise to make.

She knew that, but still grinned up at him as if he had given her a mighty gift. “You might live to regret that, Matt. Now come on!”

Her hand grabbed his, and he interlaced their fingers. She didn’t miss a beat, pulling him towards the door. “Mom’s taking a picture of us, and _then_ we can finally eat. I’m hungry!”

Matt laughed, bumping her with his shoulder as he let go of her hand and raced by her. “Catch up if you can!”

“Hey, no fair!” Her cheery laughter was all he needed as she desperately tried to catch up in her flats. It was great.

He was gonna miss this.


End file.
